What Not To Do

What not to do Volume 03

Life lessons from a loser. I am the worst person for advice. A bad example. Completely flawed. Bad influence. Inappropriate. Loud mouthed. Unfiltered. Usually unapologetic. Shrill. Mouthy. And usually failing at life.

Don’t get in a mexican stand-off over emptying the dishwasher with husband/ roommate. It will turn all passive aggressive – where you are both running and competing to empty the dishwasher to prove to the other person who much more you empty it then they do.

Don’t tell people you want to kidnap their puppies no matter how cute the puppy is. It freaks out the owners. Same applies to babies.

Don’t take painkillers and drink cheap champagne.

Don’t drink a big carton of chocolate milk you were meant to share and only leave a tiny drop in the bottom and keep it in the fridge for 3 days because you feel ashamed.

Don’t go wallet shopping and comment that 150 euros for that wallet seems like a good price. It means you have been in Vienna/Europe too long.